She's Just Not That Into Ceramic Figurines (How to shop for the woman in your life) Part One

Well, Nordstrom may be fastidiously holding out on their Christmas decorating until after the next legal holiday, but for everyone else, the season started once CVS started putting out the red and green M&M's (the day before Halloween.)

It's time to get serious about what you will be getting the woman/women in your life this Christmas. I will be giving advice in the form of several blog installments, so keep up with me here.

Now before I begin, I just have to get something off my chest...I ABHOR those insipid Kay Jewelers commercials. Am I right?! The ones that feature a [soldier/new dad/ethnically ambiguous boyfriend/deaf person] surprising his [wife/mother/shacker/ethnically ambiguous blind person] with a black box that contains a hideous piece of lacquered crap designed by Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and Jeweler Extraordinaire. No thank you, I'd rather have a Yankee Candle.

What the audience won't know is that she's actually making the ASL symbol for "worst commercial ever." 

Moving right along, allow me to present you with some helpful tips on choosing a gift that won't make you look like a doofus on Christmas morning when she surprises you with a handmade reclaimed barnwood sled that she made off of Pinterest.


LESSON ONE: She doesn't want something practical.
Remember that time you were walking through Lowes and she mentioned (probably out of boredom) that she liked those "cool shower rings"? Yeah, she doesn't want them to show up on Christmas morning. She was dropping a hint, alright...a hint that she wanted to leave the hardware store because she was at the boredom stage where un-cute things look exciting. We've all been there.


Next up, I'll tell you why you should never enter a Precious Moments store. Stay tuned...