Things I Have Learned in 2011:
- That thing you said you'd never do, ever in a million years? You'll do it. You'll do it possibly more than once. Saying "never" is pretty much like taunting the universe; Don't do it.
- The amount of time, thought, and energy you put into planning your as-yet nonexistant wedding is inversely related to the amount of general productivity in your life. Keep it on Pinterest, ladies. A watched pot of marriage proposal never boils, and occasionally it gets taken off the stove altogether. [Also, if I had to attend a wedding that included more than one or two of the 'cutesy ideas' sh!t on there, I'd probably either die laughing or drink myself to death under the table.]
I mean, yeah lots of guys think this is critically important to have at a wedding. Sike.
- ...and when said pot gets removed from said stove, it opens the cooking range to EVEN BETTER things. Holding on to a flawed relationship is preposterous. Your next love is right on the other side of the thing holding you back, whether that love is a career path, a move across the country, or a special person you never knew existed. - Going with the whole stove metaphor thing, cooking is way more fun and satisfying than getting takeout, or siphoning the occasional meal off of your conveniently-located family members. Ask yourself, "Is this plastic carton of overpriced Thai soup worth $12 and having to find parallel parking on Cary street?" or "Is this baked chicken dinner worth having to listen to an hour-long discussion about my failed attempts at the CPA exam?" Go the the store, buy some chicken and whole-wheat pasta and make dinner while watching Bravo. You'll thank yourself later.
- Cooking for yourself: a bummer. Cooking with someone else for the two of you: WAY more fun. What sad soul wants to have to cut a recipe in half rather than double it? If you must cook for yourself, make the normal recipe and save half of it for lunch the next day and/or eat half of it in the car driving to work in the morning. (Chicken is SO not exclusively a dinner food. Ask Chik-fil-A.)
- Enjoying social media does not make you stupid. Being a slave to it makes you so.
- You do not have to start and end your day looking like Pinterest. Sure that emerald-green top might look smashing with a grey Marc Jacobs bag, but sometimes you just have to throw your stuff in a Northface backpack and be done with it. (Plus, it also holds a water bottle.)
- Set aside 45 minutes a day of "Me" time. Take it selfishly. Make no exceptions. Put your phone away. Personally I enjoy running, but maybe you enjoy singing in your car. Do what you need to do. You can be a slave to the world for the other 23 hours and 15 minutes in the day.
- Jealousy is the inherent disease of the female. That which motivates us also destroys us. Keep it in check.
- Your parents don't know everything. Your friends don't know everything. Google, eHow and Wikipedia don't know everything. They all know SOME things, so to get the best results you have to consult more than one source and judiciously decide your next move.
- Decide who is worth your time, and give them your time. Period.
- If you ever tell yourself, "I'll forgive him because it only happened once", you'd better be damn sure it only happens once.
- Someone tell you you have an "edge"? Good. It means you stand up for yourself. Don't allow your edge to get dull.
- Before you post, respond, comment, or tweet, ask yourself, "Is this kind?" "Is this necessary?" "Is this appropriate?" Better to leave things unsaid (even for the sake of humor or creativity) than to say it and hurt someone else or yoursef. Our generation really needs to get a handle on this one...
- The cost of a blonde highlight touch-up at a good salon: $175, plus tip.
The cost of a bottle of Joico Blonde toner: $23 at Ulta. Use it every other day and you'll only need to highlight 3 times a year. Genius.
- Religion is a deal-breaker in relationships. We can pretend all we want that in today's world it doesn't matter, but it does. It might seem OK at first, but after the lively debates are over, someone is just going to feel cheapened, hurt, or resentful. Religion is a deal-breaker in relationships.
- Get your oil changed. Put air in your tires. Vacuum your car. See, don't you feel more organized already?
- Naps don't help everyone. On the rare occasion that I take one, I wake up from naps feeling groggy, fuzzy, and irritated. And with pillow lines on my face.
- The most irritating woman on earth is the Condescending Woman. Don't be her.
- If you'd done that thing you didn't want to do when you first started thinking about it, you'd be done by now.
- "Real Adults" like to tell us to 'slow things down' or 'take things one step at a time' like they're afraid that we're going to experience all the good things in life too early, and live the rest of life in dreary misery, devoid of surprises. The reality is, the good things will keep coming. Jump in to things with both feet and don't look back. There will be more to come. There is no such thing as having too much happiness.
- If you can find your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse devilishly handsome and sweet even in the midst of a stomach virus, you may have yourself a keeper.
- Waching The Real World is just as satisfying now as it was when I was younger. There's something relaxing about watching 7 strangers dop around a really, really cool house and do absolutely nothing.
- Banks assume (sometimes correctly) that our generation is basically financially illiterate. Don't let them charge you stupid fees. Call them out on it, or change banks.
- Call your dad. There will one day be a time when I can't do this, and thinking about that already makes me terribly sad. The older I've gotten and the more relationships I've been in, I've come to realize the critical importance of a dad. For girls, they were our first example of how a man should treat a woman (good or bad.) For guys, it was their first impression of masculinity. Call him and say hi. He probably misses you.
- The SNL parody "Kim's Fairytale Divorce" will never not be funny. http://www.aoltv.com/2011/11/07/kim-kardashian-divorce-saturday-night-live-video/
"What do I have to do for attention?! Kill somebody..."
- It's hard to relate to someone else's happiness when you're at a hard place in your life. However, when someone else is in a hard place and needs support, it's infinitely easier to tap into those emotions and recall what YOU needed when you were in their shoes. Joyful things bring us together, but so do sucky things. At any rate, I'm ever so thankful and blessed to have the friends and relationship that I have. Big group hug to all.
So... how was 2011 for you?
