She's Just Not That Into Car Seat Covers, Either: How to shop for the woman in your life, part II

Gentlemen, the marketing campaigns of the retail industry are ruining you. The Holiday commercials are not your friend, nor are they providing you with suggestions. Now that we've covered the fact that Kay Jewelers is not the Mecca of the emotional and heartfelt gift that the commercials would have you believe, I should mention some other potential pitfalls that could victimize even the savviest male shopper.


The Trap:
- Precious Moments figurines. Why don't we just call these what they really are; dust-collectors and breakage landmines for homes with cats. Maybe it's the big, creepy kewpie-doll eyes. Maybe it's the fact that even the "grown-up" figurines look like they're about 5 years old. Maybe it's the fact they they all have some cheesy religious poem inside them. I don't know what it is, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that the woman in your life is going to feel approximately 126% less turned-on once she removes the packing peanuts and pulls one of these babies out of a box that looked suspiciously like it could contain jewelry.

Just Married...what is this, the YFZ Ranch?! They look 8 years old!



- "Presents we  BOTH like!" Jerry Seinfeld once said, "there's no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.' Same rule applies to gifts. With the rare exception of novelties that I can't mention here (this is a G-rated blog), most gifts with a 2-party benefit are a no-go. This includes XBox games, dart boards, doberman pincers, unisex pajama jeans (the unsexiest phrase in the English language), tickets to sporting events (unless you're both die-hards) and lottery tickets. Now I know the Christmas lottery ticket commercials are alluring, but stay the course and trust me. The 'scratching film' gets under our finger nails, and MAN, that stuff is hard to get out...

- Convenience Presents Offering to pay that bill, buy that tank of gas, run that errand... these are all VERY sweet gestures, and yes you should do them occasionally. But 'Accrued Gifts' are something I should only ever hear about when I'm doing an audit. Ask yourself... is it more fun to open a gift on Christmas morning, or be reminded about that time that she paid off your parking ticket?

[NOTE: this is different from "advanced gifts"... i.e. ones that you've gotten her input on, then had her forget about until Christmas morning. Those are encouraged!]

Next we'll cover gifts that she'll actually like. Maybe even love. I've earned your trust at this point, right? I wouldn't steer you wrong!