"You'd love her, man. She's so chill."
"She's great, she's a very go-with-the-flow, chill girl."
"She's just so chill to talk to. She's down for anything."
"It's great, she's just so down-to-earth and chill."
Chill. That's what we need to be. Every man just wants to have a good, "chill" girl to take home to his family. Can you "chill"? What IS "chill'? Is "chill" saying that you'd rather have your birthday dinner at Dave & Busters with the detritus of America because it's a place your boyfriend/husband enjoys? Is it not asking for the slightly more expensive Hermes bracelet for a birthday present, or not expecting anything at all? Is a "chill" girl just quiet all the time? I see a myriad of problems here; not the least of which is the fact that "chill" isn't actually grammatically correct, but that's a story for a different blog...
In order for me to delve deeper into this, I am going to first broadly define the term "high-maintenance"; unfortunately it's very hard to describe it without using a cliché (interesting....)
High-maintenance (a term once reserved for specialty cars and fussy machinery) describes vocal, opinionated women who have standards for themselves, and won't settle on something just because it will make life easier. They have a lot of self-confidence, self-esteem, and moxie--not to mention, they wouldn't be caught dead at a Dave & Buster’s on their birthday when they'd prefer a tapas bar. They probably dress well. If you still can't quite picture who I'm describing, look at the antagonist from nearly any modern drama; that’s her.
Okay bros, why all the animosity toward this Alpha-Female? What about her gets the bros so upset? Any bros out there in the brosphere want to take that one? Why it is that if we don't meet the standards of "chill" we're exiled, or presumed to a ___ (insert common pejorative term for women here.)
I think it's because men love to search out "rarities" with the women they date, and right now, "chill" girls seem to be harder and harder to come by. Were you aware? Our college graduation rate is better than the men's now, our salaries are climbing, and fortune-500 companies love bragging about how many of us they're putting in prime management positions. We're smarter, getting better jobs, making more money, and requiring better stuff that meets our standards. I say it's about time we caught up to the bros! Not to sound like a tampon ad, but...being a woman feels pretty damn good. The "chill" woman is going the way of the kitten heel...frumpy and out of style.
What's a bro to do? Well bros, I hate to tell you but I think you'd best learn to adapt. Maybe men need to start learning different ways to approach the strong-willed and high-maintenance female. The bros need to get out of the bar (and please use hand sanitizer first), into some decent clothes, and immediately head out to where this new breed of woman is hiding. She may be at the museum of fine arts. Perhaps she's at the new wine tasting event. She could be stalking the new fall collection at Nordstrom since she just got a raise last week. YOU WANT TO FIND HER. Maybe she isn't as "chill" as you'd like your companion to be, but she's driven, smart, self-sufficient, and ready for the future. Don't be afraid of the high-maintenance woman. She's certainly not afraid of you.
Interesting take. That isn't really what I think of when I think high maintenance though, almost the opposite. I think of the girl who can't do things for herself. Her car needs work, but she can't bring it to the mechanic, that type of thing.
ReplyDeleteI've always been attracted to strong women, which seems to be part of your definition. But I'm not high society enough to handle the other part of your definition, it's above my pay scale. ;-)