On a less mundane note...It's back. And now I'm not talking about my blog, or my GERD. It's that time of year again when I have to have my typically high-brow (thanks to the careful pruning of my Facebook friend tree) newsfeed blown up with silly quotes, contrived catchphrases, and the name Smooky. I think I have that spelled right...
1. The fact that I am even making a post about J.S. implies that I have strong feelings about it one way or another, which is playing completely into the hands of the producers; love it or hate it, people are TALKING about it, thus garnering interest for this miserable show. The Today Show, The View, The Daily Bugle, Toddlers & Tiaras, Diabetics Monthly...what do they have in common? They all have yappers that inevitably want to come out of the woodwork and yap about their disdain for it.
2. The music. Oh my GAH, the music...what's that called, again? The jerky, I-Can't-Stop-My-CD-From-Skipping soundtrack that runs throughout the 9-minute long show? Do we call it DubStep? I don't even know what it is. But I hate it. Oh, and the fact that they've somehow managed to "mash" it with Italian opera music this season is nothing more than a snarky culture injection that 98% of its target viewing population won't pick up on. Brava.
3. The people. More specifically, the people ON the show. At this point, is there a single non-brain dead person out there who DOESN'T think that they're basically a bunch of terrible, terrible actors? Do people think they're actually creating these catchphrases themselves? THEY'RE NOT EVEN WORDS. Actually, let me clear that up...they're words only in the Black-Eyed Peas sense; those clowns can sputter all the nonsensical literary gravy they want, and we love them for it.
4. The people. More specifically, the people who WATCH the show. Now before you get your undies in a bind, let me break these out into 2 categories: people who watch the show to make fun of it and/or give cultural commentary, and people who watch it because they believe it is actually good television. It's a fine line, and many people tread the middle. Not to single out the high school crowd, but I'm speaking primarily about them because they seem to be the most apt to mimic the behaviors they're seeing. If I see one more glow-in-the-dark bracelet or bedazzled trucker hat, I'm going to beat someone over the poofed head with a duck phone. (Pshh, yeah I know about the duck phone.)
5. We're at the point now where even making fun of J.S. seems passe (imagine there's an accent over the "e" for me. Thanks.) I mean, the late-night comics have picked over this rotting carcass for months and months. The STD jokes have been shared, the spoofs have spoofen, and my grandmother could probably pick a Situation costume out of a Halloween lineup. We've determined that literally every demographic, race, color, and creed is offended by the show in some way, but not quite offended enough to do anything about it. We're spinning the wheels.
What's the meaning of all of this? How do you feel right now? Enlightened? Miffed that you got roped in to reading yet another critical nugget about this terrible show? Satisfied enough to continue reading my blog (pretty-please)? Worried about "where we will go from here" if this audio-visual pollution is part of a downward trend? For that, I tell you to relax. Shock value is nothing new, and it goes in and out of demand. Don't believe me? Think about the 1980's; a time right after the free-love, drugged-out 70's when people reverted back to family values, safe sex, and safer music. Pop culture is a self-cleaning oven. I made that up just now...you can quote me on it.
I only have 2 words to sum up my response to this post: THANK YOU.
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