We've all been there; the crunch-time phase. Whether it's an exam to study for, a newborn child to take care of (I mean, how different are they?) or the busy time of year in your adult job, you've had to vote certain things, people, and activities off of the Biggest Loser Survivor Island of your life. (I intentionally mixed up TV shows there to show everyone how little time I've had to watch TV. Also, to be snide.)
Here are some things that I have elected to NOT give a rose to during Taxelorette Season:
- Washing my hair has gone completely by the wayside. I'm so sorry. It's probably gross. People in my office now go out of their way to compliment me on my hair on days that I've washed it. "Did you do something to your hair?! It looks good today!" Yep. I actually washed 3 days of hair-product buildup, bobby pins and sweat out of it. Because I'm worth it...every third day.
- Laundry. It has gotten completely out of hand. A cardigan covers all manner of sins, but as for the rest of it, I've gotten into the habit of rounding up an entire load of "essential underthings", washing them, and leaving the rest in the laundry basket which is mostly the floor. I also now put things on the floor when I've THOUGHT about wearing them but never did. Because I am too lazy to hang them up.
- I'm going to get away from the personal-hygiene bullets because I'm starting to sound like a coherent version of Ke$ha.
- I don't remember the last time I put more than $20 of gas in my car at a time. It takes forever to fill up my tank and frankly, I can't be bothered. I like to think that I'm 'hedging' fuel prices by doing this; hoping that when I need to fill up again, gas prices will have gone down. But to most everyone else filling up their tanks at the gas station, I just look poor.
- Those who know me know that one of my great, great passions in life involves giving my opinion to people I disagree with, especially on Facebook where if nothing else I can attack their punctuation and grammar for the whole world to see. I've seen a lot of ridiculousness recently that I've let slide because I don't have time to do my typical "type out a coherent argument on a Word document, spell-check and paste it into the comment window" charade. Not enough hours in the day. I miss this simple frivolity. So just so we're clear, the Internet is not safe anymore. I will be giving my opinions out on everything.
- I haven't read anything longer than a Facebook status in about 3 months. How I've managed to keep running yet not read anything that wouldn't fit in a Pinterest comment window is beyond me, but that's the way things have shaken out. Last night I downloaded "50 Shades of Did-She-Just-Say-What-I-Think-She-Just-Said" and was up until 3 a.m. reading it and by reading it I mean skipping to the interesting parts and neglecting the horrendous storyline. Why don't we just call this book what it really is: X-Rated Lit for Women who Read But Wish They Could Just Watch Dirty Movies? I mean, really. And if I were the title character, I'd be borderline-choke holding the protagonist female too. She's obnoxious.
- I'm pretty sure they're now showing The Hunger Games on ABC Family at 2 p.m. nowadays and everyone from the Duggar children to indigenous tribesmen in Mongolia have seen it at least twice, with bootlegged copies of "Child Lovers Hungry Death Game" arriving by alpaca every day. I still haven't seen the damn thing.
"I VOLUNTEER!!!! I volunteer to come in on Saturday!!!!"
- My temper has been occasionally snippy. Example: I crawled in to work on Sunday afternoon after an evening/morning of frolicking around Shockoe bottom. I really didn't NEED to come in, but I knew it would help my boss out a lot if I did. I was only vaguely aware of what I was wearing, certain only that I'd covered the Hustler Magazine parts. My dear, dear coworker made the unfortunate mistake of giving me a genuine compliment. "What a cute tee shirt!!! Where is that from? I love it!" I look down, reminded that I pulled a men's size L V-neck white tee shirt out of what I'd presumed to be the clean laundry pile and threw it over some gym shorts. Oh, and I added a necklace to cover what I hoped was latent coffee stains. Anyway, she was being honest and yet I responded by sorta biting her head off and telling her that it was nothing special, I'd gotten it from WalMart. So then I had a bad-attitude hangover as well as a real hangover. That plus the coffee stains= not a good look.
The good news is, tax season is over. I can go back to being overly involved in the lives of my friends and spending my time irresponsibly. And blogging. I've missed the blogging.
With that, everyone have a fantastic tax day, and may the I.R.S. be ever in your favor. We'll chat again soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment